Not giving up
by Kadesch
Summary: After their affaire Big is not just stepping back but fights for Carrie’s love.
1. The First Visit

_Auther's Note: Same as in the stories before_

_It's the day of Charlottes wedding _

Carrie was getting ready when there was a knock on the door. At passing by she opens it.

"Hey Aiden, I need some more…"

She turned around and stopped talking.

"Hey"

"What are you doing here? I told you, you shouldn't come here. It's over!"

"I have to talk to you!"

Big had entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"There is nothing left to talk about! It's over!"

"We will get divorced."

"I'm sorry for that."

"You don't need to be."

He was moving towards her but she shied away from him.

"What do you want? Aiden will be here any minute, we have to go."

"I don't care and you know that. You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No, and I better won't tell him."

"You love him, don't you? You love him more than you love me!"

"We were having an affaire…"

"No, it wasn't that way. For me it wasn't just fucking around, I would have left her anytime for you. I just want you."

"But I…"

He grabbed her shoulders.

"Carrie, I know how you kiss when you love, I looked into your eyes while we made love. Don't dump me like that."

She looked into his eyes and was speechless while he looked back intensely, making her knees weak.

"I…"

There was a knock on the door which startled both of them. She broke away from his grip and opened the door.

"Hey babe."

Aiden was standing in front of it.

"Can we go? It's getting l… Oh, you got company. Hi!"

"Hi."

"We met at the furniture show, didn't we? I hope the coffee didn't leave some lasting harms." Aiden said smiling.

"No, don't worry, it's all working fine, you can ask…"

"We really have to go now. It was nice seeing you again, but we have to leave." Carrie interrupted him before Big could get any further, took his arm and pulled him towards the door.

"Don't think that I'm giving up so fast!" Big murmured into her ear.

"Please let it go. It's over!"

"No, this time it isn't. I will return to talk to you about it." He said louder: "Say hello and best wishes to Charlotte. I'm sure she will remember me. I accidentally met her in front of a hotel a few weeks ago."

He gave Carrie a devilish grin which let her shiver inside cause she knew too well what happened back there. She hustled him out of the door and closed the door behind him.

"What did he want?"

"Oh, he just wanted to talk to me"

"I thought you lost sight of him. Actually who is he and where do you know him from?"

"Aiden, not now, OK? We have to go or we will be late."


	2. Aiden hears the story

_Sorry that it took me so long! I had a lot of stuff to do but now, during the hollidays, I will try to write more often._

A few days after the wedding, Aiden and Steve where sitting in a bar together, drinking some beers.

"It had been so strange! He was there in her apartment and she was kind of dazed when she opened the door. And these strange allusions of this guy. And his grin… I really don't know what all this is about. Whenever I ask her, she evades, she won't even tell me his name. But she's so vacantly, she's not herself anymore. I just wanna know what all this is about…."

"How did he look? I haven't met a lot of Carries friends but Miranda always told me a lot of things so perhaps I know him."

"Hmm, How did he look? Tall, dark hair, I think he was good looking. Expensive suit. We met him once before at the furniture show. I think the woman he had with him back there was his wife… Wait, Carrie told me her name. I think it was… Natasha, yeah, that's it."

Steve took a deep breath. "Oh."

"What's that about? You know him? Who is this bastard?"

" I don't know if you really want to hear about it, my friend."

"Fuck! Tell me what you know!"

"Ok, Ok. Unless I am very much mistaken it was Mr. Big who was standing in front of you."

"Mr. Big? Is that his name or is it because of…" Aiden paused

"No, I thought the same at the first moment but than Miranda told me that Carrie called him that because she thought that he was so out of her league. She was absolutely fallen for him. And she went through a lot of things because of him. They have been together for a long time but he never told her how much she meant to him. That's why she broke up with him the first time."

"There has been more than one time?"

"Yeah, they got back together after some month and he seemed to try harder. But than he had to go to Paris because of work and didn't want her to come with him and give up her own life. That's why she broke it off the second time. It hit her hard, the girls even send her to a psychiatrist cause they couldn't hear anymore about him. Last summer they went to the Hamptons and there she met him again. The Paris deal fell through but he brought a good looking, 25-years old girl with him which he married after a few month. Her name was Natasha, even if the girls preferred to call her the idiot stick-figure with no soul. That was when Carrie hit rock bottom cause he didn't want to commit to her when they had been together. All four of them wanted him to go to hell. But the girls always sensed that Carrie didn't really get over him. They used to compare him to Niagara Falls."

"Wow, that sounds really bad!"

"I'm so sorry man!"


	3. Another Try

_Thank you for the reviews! It encouraged me to go on translating right away. Hope you like it!_

A few days later

When Carrie came home she saw Big sitting in front of her house from a long distance. For a short moment she thought about turning around to avoid another confrontation.

But she didn't do it. Even if she would have never admit it, she was happy to see him. Finally he showed her that she meant something to him, he fought for their relationship. At last he was not ready to just leave her life like that.

But why of all things now? She had Aiden! And Aiden was perfect! Ok, she had a secret affaire with the man who broke her heart several times but that was something she never wanted him to find out. She still loved him.

But how could it be that she was so happy to see Big sitting on her stairs seeming to be anxious. She smiled. He seemed to be nervous.

Now he was looking up and saw her. Carrie quick made a serious face and went to him.

"What are you doing here? You have to understand that it's over!"

"I can't do that and you know it!"

Big got up while he was talking and stood across from her.

"Please go, Aiden will be here soon!"

"We have to talk!"

"There's nothing left to talk about! Please go, I don't want him to suspect something!"

"So you still didn't tell him. I have a proposal for you: Tell him that you slept with both of us for three weeks and see then if he still wants you the way I want you!"

Carrie turned away. She didn't want to hear something like that, she couldn't. She tried to climb up the stairs but Big grabbed her arm.

"Let go!"

"Carrie! Don't leave me that way! Not again!"

"Let me go! I don't have anything to say to you!"

"OK, I'll let you go and I'll never come back if you look into in my eyes and tell me that you don't love me and that you'll never want to see me again."

Carrie froze. She could never say things like that and he knew it. She tried to get out of his grip but he just held her closer.

"Say it and I will be out of your life forever!"

No, she didn't want him to be out of her life forever he belonged to her life.

He forced her to turn around and looked into her eyes deeply.

"Say it or come back to me."

His voice was so soft and tender now.

Carrie didn't know what to do anymore.

"Hey, let her go!"

Both of them turned their heads and saw Aiden running down the street. It seemed like he had only seen Big holding Carrie but he hadn't heard what they were talking about.

"Let her go!"

Big let his hands fall down and stepped back while he murmured: "Tell him!"

Then he turned to Aiden.

"Hello Aiden. I just asked Carrie to give back a CD I once borrowed her."

"Yeah, that's why you held her!"

Aiden push Big who lifted his hands protectively.

Carrie interfered quickly: "Yeah I always thought it was a gift, that's why I didn't want to give it back."

Aiden ignored her.

"Keep your dirty hands off her, bastard! She's with me now, she doesn't need you anymore!"

"You're the only one who thinks that!"

Big had awake from his numbness and know seemed to think that attack is the best form of defence.

"But what is if I tell you now…"

"Shut up and get lost!"

That couldn't be the way how Aiden should find out. Perhaps she would find a way to tell him someday, but Big couldn't show her up like that. She knew he would never do it if Aiden wouldn't attack him like that. That was when he forgot all his caution.

"Keep your hair on, kid! I don't want you to be upset. We will talk another time, when your 'guardian' isn't with you."

Then Big turned away and strolled down the street.

Aiden was perplexed. Why did Carrie cut him short? What did he want to tell him?

Bit by bit the whole thing seemed to get more and more strange.

But the way Carrie looked at him now he knew exactly that she wouldn't tell him anything.


	4. Aiden and Big meet alone

Carrie just didn't talk to him. She was close-mouthed and vacantly. Whenever Aiden asked about Big, Carrie became aggressive and yelled at him that she should leave her alone. Since the encounter on the stairs a few days had passed but she didn't give him even one explanation for the things that happened back there.

They had just had another big fight. Aiden was leaving the house, climbing down the stairs and walking down the street when he heard a car stop behind him. When he was turning his head he saw a big black limousine out of which Big was getting out.

Immediately he turned around and ran at Big. Big saw him just in time and was able to avoid his push, which probably would have knocked him down otherwise.

"What do you want here? I told you to leave her alone!"

"Boy, you don't have to tell me anything. She's not yours!"

"Oh yeah, she is! Keep your hands off her!"

"Seems like your are too late for that one!"

"What do you mean? You are dieing to fuck her again, don't you? But she's with me now she doesn't need a weenie like you!"

"Oh yeah?"

Big leaned forward provocatively while Aiden built himself up in front of him.

"I'll tell you something! We …"

Aiden noticed Big looking up and shutting up a second later.

Saying "Ah, you don't have a clue!" Big got back in the car and drove away.

When Aiden looked up at the point Big was looking before, he saw Carrie stepping back from the window.


	5. The Call

„Fuck it, just tell me what he wants!"

Again a few days had passed but Carrie hadn't told him anything.

"There has to be something or he wouldn't come here again and again and you wouldn't be so bent on him shutting up!"

Aiden was out of mind. He was sick of this cat-and-mouse game.

"Just get off my back!"

"No, I want to know what's up! Does he want you back?"

"You know, I just can't stand this anymore. I'll go downstairs and smoke a cigarette, even if you don't like it. Perhaps you will calm down while I'm away."

Finishing her sentence, Carrie slammed the door behind her.

Aiden could hardly stop himself from running after her. But it wouldn't change anything. Enraged he paced up and down the room. What was going on?

Suddenly the phone rang. He ignored it, he couldn't answer it in his condition. So the answering machine answered.

All of the sudden all his intention was concentrated on the voice coming out of the machine.

"Carrie, it's me. Are you there? Please pick up! … Ok, seems like you're not there or 'busy' _sigh_ … So, have you decided? I can't take this any longer, I need to see you! When can I come over? Your 'watchdog' can't be there all the time. Or can we meet at…"

"What is it she should have decided, gosh darn it?"

Aiden had taken the phone after hearing enough of Big's words.

Big was stunned for a moment.

"Is Carrie there?"

"No, she's out, What do you want?"

"I want to talk to her!"

"Leave her alone finally! She doesn't need you anymore! I thought you are married! Didn't you had your chance twice and fucked it up? It's too late! She doesn't need you anymore!"

"Really? Ask Carrie if she thinks the same way!"

"I don't need to do that, I know it! She's with me now, she doesn't want to know anything about you!"

"That's weird, things she said a few weeks ago were very different."

"A few weeks ago you didn't have any contact!"

"Oh? Is that what she told you? Didn't you wonder why she started smoking again although you forbid it? … Two weeks ago we smoked our last cigarette afterwards!"

There he had it. She cheated on him. But he couldn't show his hurt to the other man. It couldn't have meant much to her.

"Even if you had been in bed with her it doesn't mean anything! It was just once!"

"Once? For three weeks there have been a lot of 'once' lasting for hours."

Big just couldn't hold it back anymore. Aiden wanted it that way and Carrie belonged to him not the man on the line.

"I can even tell you when and where it all began. Do you remember when you renovated her apartment and she had to go to a hotel? Didn't you wonder why she didn't come to you that night? I have to tell you, for three weeks I had the best lunch hours in my life! Till my **EX**wife found her in my apartment and Carrie backed out."

"You only tell bullshit!"

"Really? I can detail you if you want to hear it: She resisted till we reached the elevator and the doors closed! Till I started kissing her! Then we've been lucky to reach the room cause I nearly took her in the elevator! We've been like animals, we couldn't get enough of each other. And I'll tell you another thing: We didn't just fuck! Afterwards we made love. Nice and slow. She groaned every time I was thrusting into her and when she came she clung to me and screamed my name. 'Oh …'"

Aiden dropped the phone.

The door had opened and Carrie was standing there. Stunned.

She didn't had to ask. She knew who was on the phone and what had just happened.

Aiden rose wordless and flounced out of the apartment. Carrie ran after him. On the street yelled his name. Furiously he turned around.

"Behind my back you fucked around with that guy for three weeks? Not only this but his marriage is over because of that. Oh, and I nearly forgot: You've done both: fucking and making love! Don't call me ever again!"

With that he turned around and ran away. Carrie stayed on the street – stunned.

It happened as it was due to be.


	6. What now?

When Carrie went back upstairs she heard the dial tone on the phone. It seemed like Big had waited some time before he hang up.

Carrie took her jacket and meandered through the city.

She had lost Aiden, that was for sure, but did she want to get back together with Big? Did she love him? She didn't know the answer.

Two hours later she came back home. She still didn't know what to do.

Perhaps it would be best to do nothing for a while, to not let Big get back in her life completely.

Perhaps she would know what to do in a while.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps….

She saw she had a massage on her answering machine and listened to it.

"Hi, it's me. I'm so sorry for what happened. Really, I didn't want to do this. It just got beyond control. Please forgive me! I can't loose you again, Carrie! I love you! I can't life without you anymore. Please give me another chance. I learned out of my mistakes, really. Please believe me. I will come over later, please think about what you want. If you don't let me in and don't want to talk to me, I'll leave you alone for not causing you anymore pain - forever."


	7. The Knocking

It had been 10 minutes.

Toc – toc - toc.

This gentle knocking on the door.

If she wouldn't have known that he stood on the other side of the door and begged for entrance, maybe she wouldn't even have heard it.

It was the same like in their last night, before he went to Paris to come back with HER, breaking her heart another time.

Should she risk it another time?

Should she risk getting her heart broken by him another time?

Should she give in the desire to open the door and take him into her arms?

Was she even able to do it?

She just didn't know.

Carrie leaned her head back against the door and felt the wood vibrating. She saw him in her mind's eye in front of her, leaning against the door frame letting his fingers fall against the door again and again.

What was he thinking in this moment?

How long will he stay there and try to be let in by her?

He knew that she was standing on the other side of the door, fighting with herself. He tried to win that fight.

She had played his massage again and again.

Could she believe him?

Was it different this time?

Had he changed?

While these questions kept running through her head she knew the answer:

Yes, she believed him, everything had changed, even Big.

He fought for her. Even in this moment.

It wasn't like all the times before when she told him to leave and he did it. He stayed. He stayed and didn't give her up. He loved her. Really.

Suddenly she noticed that the knocking had stopped. She panicked. "If you don't let me in and don't want to talk to me I will leave you alone for not causing you anymore pain - forever." His words resounded in her head.

He mustn't go! She still couldn't life without him!

In panic she opened the door and looked down the hall.

But it was empty.

_I would love to hear if you liked the story._

_Should this be the end? Or is there a possibility that Big isn't out of her life forever) Should there be one more chapter?_


	8. Out of the Corner

_Of cause this wasn't the end. Originally I didn't split the chapter from the one before but I wanted to see if anybody kept reading the story.Indeed I hoped for a little more reaction. But I hope Sara wasn't the only one ;-)_

_But Sara, especially for you the last (short) part. Hope you like it.

* * *

_

But from the corner of her eye she saw something move.

He took a step forward from the wall across, on which he was rested. In her haste she hadn't seen him in the dark.

They looked deeply in each others eyes, both weren't able to say anything. They just looked at each other.

"I love you. Really." He spoke with a hoarsely voice. It seemed like he was close to tears.

"I love you back."

She knew it was true. She had known it the whole time, she just didn't want to believe it.

He stepped up to her and took her into her arms.

"I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to be. I had enough time to tell him and didn't do it. I know that you didn…"

"I'm not talking about that."

Big leaned back.

"I'm sorry that I needed so long for realising that you are the one for me even if I kind of knew it all the time."

Then he began to kiss her, lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed.

* * *

THE END _

* * *

Of cause I still would be happy to get some reactions ;-) _


End file.
